Feeling Blue

Not the good kind like a Smurf.
This may have been the 2 longest weeks of my life.
I've been more depressed than I expected to be. Although I knew this was gonna drop sooner or later I expected ater.
I think it's coz I have no use right now. No reason for being.
I'm not back to work till Monday. At least then have to get out of bed. I have a reason.
I'm generally don't wallow. But recently it's becoming harder to even think of geting out of bed.
What's even the point.
Then sometimes I just wanna build a duvet cave around me and burrow in and cry.
I hate the feeling of this depression when I have no reason for it.
I keep geting told to get myself together. There is nothing to get together. I am together. I'm just having a hard time.
Medication is a waste of time. It's made me feel worse.
I guess talking at a computer screen isn't much help either.

It's funny, no matter how much I am there for people, if they need me I'm there, yet when the tables are turned I end up on my own.

Guess it's something I should be used to by now. Well at least I have all the time in the world to get used to it.